When you make anything in life I feel like the question “Where’s The Beef?” should always be one of the first questions asked. You want to be able to determine what the story you should be telling is, what is the substance that is at the centre of what you are doing. Moonwalkers is a story about a CIA Agent who accidently tasks the making of fake moon landing footage to an inept band manager instead of Stanley Kubrick and must work together to complete the project without the US government figuring it out. The beef of this story in my mind is the interplay between Kidman, the CIA agent (Ron Pearlman) and Johnny, the inept (Rupert Grint) as they struggle to create the film. Instead Moonwalkers takes us on tangents into small time criminal gangs, egotistic band members and personal demons that do nothing but distract from what we really want to be watching.
Being a British film at heart we are treated to the required tropes including drugs, hairstyles, accents, flower power hallucinations, casual nudity and aggressive violence that would fit in any Guy Ritchie film. There is a polish to the filmmaking and its rattles along with slick detail despite its grimy exterior, attempting to distract us from the fact that it doesn’t have much substance. The actors have been typecast as the strong man and the bumbling failure we have seen Pearlman and Grint to be in the past and are two dimensional throughout, neither attempting a character arc in anyway. Unfortunately I found my attention waning during Moonwalkers, with only a few scenes delivering stand out excitement. We are treated to a montage of pre-production on the set of the fake moon landing and it is here where the film shines but also shows what wasted potential the final product really is. Moonwalkers is likely to be forgotten quickly and painlessly.